Itinerary of a MOC in Her Illness and Convalescence United to the Suffering Heart of Jesus

This testimony from a mother of the cross, shared with our community, reveals how the teachings of the Simple Path to Union with God are manifested and lived out in concrete ways in the hidden and ordinary lives of every woman and man who responds with their daily “yes,” united with Mary’s “Fiat.” Through this generous response, the Lord transforms the hearts of these new men and women, turning them into living hosts and chalices through which He makes all things new.

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ITINERARY OF A MOC IN HER ILLNESS AND CONVALESCENCE UNITED TO THE SUFFERING HEART OF JESUS

March 12, 2026

With this itinerary, I wish to reflect the immense goodness that the Lord has shown to those who, like me, have accepted the call to be His victim souls for the salvation of souls and, as mothers and missionaries of the Cross, to be transformed into His very love, into His living hosts and chalices.

The Lord in His mercy grants us the grace to unite ourselves to His sacrifice of love, allowing His redeeming love to be manifested in the world through our surrender. It is a profound invitation to participate fully in the interior martyrdom of His Sacred Heart.

I underwent knee surgery in August of 2023 due to sudden and severe cartilage wear, a condition that was classified by doctors as serious and unusual for my age and which, if left untreated, could prevent me from walking within ten years. This diagnosis was particularly difficult for me to accept; I felt sad when I received the news. In addition, I couldn't help but think of the many people who receive discouraging news about their health, facing the same challenge of coping with an unexpected and painful reality.

A week before the surgery, I entered into deep contemplation of Jesus during his prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, where, in the midst of extreme suffering, he sweated drops of blood and begged the Father, if possible, to take away that cup of suffering. However, Jesus did not seek His own will, but desired that the Father's will be done. It was the same thing He invited me to do.

I thanked God deeply for the meaning of this suffering, for no pain that He allows in our lives is alien to His love; every trial becomes an opportunity to achieve a total union with Him. I felt a serene joy and sincere gratitude for the fruitful gift that the Lord was granting me: to participate in a small part in His agony and in the pains of the Cross. This experience made me understand that, through my vocation as a mother of the Cross, He entrusted to my heart a small portion of souls far from His love, in my own family and even in souls unknown to me, but not to Him, so that, united to His interior martyrdom, they might be born again. These souls are the precious children of the Lord, and I felt dignified to receive the grace of spiritual motherhood.

Two days before the surgery, I felt a great inner peace. I perceived that my heart was beating at the same rhythm as that of my beloved Jesus. After contemplating the spiritual agony in Gethsemane, I felt capable of abandoning myself, together with Him, into the hands of the Father.

Like Jesus, I was aware that what awaited me would not be easy; in fact, I knew it would be torment, although, of course, incomparable to the bitter and painful passion that our beloved Lord suffered. However, like Him, I placed all my trust in the Father and in His holy will.

I felt the gift of His cross, my blessed cross, as an immense grace in my life.

August 12, the day of my surgery, was a moment filled with intense emotions. From the beginning, I began to experience a process of self-discovery, and I was confronted with feelings of anger and anxiety. I asked myself inwardly: Lord, where do these feelings and emotions come from? Are they due to pride, loss of control, or perhaps a lack of gratitude? Despite these questions in my heart, I remained confident in the Lord's will and His providence for the outcome of the surgery.

Once I was discharged and at home, as I went to bed, I felt a deep helplessness at being trapped inside the bandages, unable to move. The pain was unbearable with any attempt to move. At that moment, I contemplated Jesus crucified, unable to move and suffering tremendous pain, and I found it impossible not to cry with the Lord, sharing and uniting my suffering with Him.

In my first days of convalescence, I began to notice how my dependence on others affected my emotional state. The physical pain intensified at certain moments, which contributed to my impatience. However, I recognized in this process an opportunity for purification of my emotions. I thanked the Lord for this inner purification and surrendered all my experiences and feelings to His Sacred Heart.

I also suffered deep pain in my heart for my country, but I tried not to focus on the darkness that invades it, trusting that the union of sorrows with my Lord will make all things new, filling every mind and heart with His light.

On this day, the Lord gave me some words through a message received by our spiritual mother Lourdes, strengthening my faith and trust in His providence.

The Life of Motherhood Fulfills the Desire of Jesus' Heart

Date: June 14, 2010

I felt the Father begin to fill me. He said:

The ways of God are not the ways of the world. It is the life of motherhood rejected by so many women of today but embraced by My MOC united to the Mother of God that will bring to fulfillment the desire of My Son’s Heart… You are called to encourage the mothers in this path of life I have set before you that is so pleasing to God. You are called to encourage the mothers to love as My Son has loved you, in pain and suffering, for it is this love that will bring life to My Church. It is this love, the love of the Cross, that will heal the broken-hearted, that will restore the wounded, that will bring about unity and peace. Blessed are they that hear this cry; blessed are they who hear these words from you and respond with love, for they will enter into the Kingdom of God and receive the crown of glory. Thank you, My daughter, for responding to the call of My Son. Be still and know that I am God, that I love you, and I am with you for all eternity.

Shortly thereafter, I received a message from a young girl in our family who was going through a difficult situation caused by anorexia. This message moved me deeply and prompted me to reflect on the role of spiritual motherhood in these moments of suffering. Inspired by the Lord's message, I felt called to exercise my spiritual motherhood by accompanying her in her sorrow and frailty.

Four days later, the stitches and bandages were removed, which was another step in the recovery process, although the physical discomfort remained. In the midst of this suffering, I offered up to the Lord both my physical pains and those that arose from the temperaments, those aspects of character that make it difficult to live with others and find inner peace. I asked the Lord to help us to truly be his victim souls, capable of entering into silence, love, and pain, so that we might become one with Him and allow Him to break the hardness of our hearts.

In a meditation shared with another mother of the cross, close to my heart, who was on pilgrimage in La Salette, we reflected on tears: those of Mary and those of our beloved Jesus. The Lord invited us to contemplate that sorrow and that surrender.

We united in the desire that our daily "yes," united with the "Fiat" of our Mother, would be a consolation to these two sacred and loving hearts, and that we would persevere in this journey of faith and love.

On the fifth day after the surgery, I noticed in myself a great impatience towards my family members, motivated by the fact that they did not perform tasks as I would. This feeling led me to a deep inner reflection and a request for forgiveness from the Lord. I understood that my recovery involved not only the healing of my body, but also the self-knowledge of my own weaknesses and learning to recognize them. I thus discovered myself invited by the Lord to allow myself to be transformed, to allow my heart to be circumcised, molded in patience, stillness, docility, and dependence. I remained attentive to my own emotions and, above all, to the presence of the Lord in my heart, allowing Him to continue guiding me in this formation and transformation of the heart.

After a few days, sores appeared in my mouth as a result of a lowered immune system caused by the effects of the anesthesia. This situation of weakness led me to contemplate the passion of our Lord. I thought of His thirst on the cross, His sore and parched mouth, and His deep thirst for souls, a redemptive thirst that springs from His love for humanity.

Thirteen days later, after a physical evaluation, the attending physician determined that the persistent pain was not normal. The nerve block during anesthesia had reached deeper into the peripheral nerve, causing intense pain and considerable nerve damage that could be indefinite.

During this process, my mind and heart turned to the moment of Our Lord's crucifixion, remembering how the nails pierced Him mercilessly and brutally, surely affecting his nerves without the slightest care. This meditation moved me deeply, to the point of making me shed tears and weep alongside Jesus and our Blessed Mother, Mary Most Holy. However, in the midst of this suffering, I found comfort in the Lord and the love of my family, my husband, and my parents, who cared for me with great care and dedication, and my Love Crucified community, who accompanied me in love and prayer. But in reality, it was not me they were comforting, it was Jesus on the Cross whom they were comforting and accompanying.

My spiritual mother Lourdes constantly encouraged me to endure the suffering in union with Jesus and to remain attentive to my heart.

In a moment of prayer and adoration after receiving Communion from the Communion minister, I experienced a profound union with the Lord. After a while, I felt within me the lament and deep sorrow of Jesus' heart for women who are exposed and exploited as webcam models or in similar situations.

The next day, I heard the Lord's lament within me again. This spiritual sorrow became even more tangible in my heart, especially as I felt deeply united to my husband, who was in another country for work reasons.

After a few days, I felt the need to share with my husband everything I had been experiencing inside, especially the Lord's groans for women who are trafficked and sexually exploited. During our conversation, he told me about a personal experience he had in the European country where he was staying, an experience he had previously shared with his spiritual accompaniment. He explained to me the deep sorrow he felt when he saw the cards promoting the sexual exploitation of these sisters and daughters of God scattered on the streets of this European city, waiting for a passerby to pick them up. However, his greatest suffering came from observing how those cards were indifferently trampled on by passersby, as if the sorrow and dignity of those women did not matter to anyone, leaving them forgotten in their essence and humanity.

The sorrow that the Lord allowed us to feel in our hearts is the same sorrow that He suffers for each of these women: the sorrow caused by indifference and by the dignity of His daughters, crushed and trampled on by society.

To witness this profound union of our hearts as husband and wife, as mother and missionary of the cross, and our intimate communion with the heart of our beloved Lord, was an extremely beautiful experience.

Twenty-two days after the surgery, a deep sorrow invaded my heart without me being able to clearly identify its origin. It was a feeling of heaviness and sadness that I could not fully understand, but which I felt intensely in the depths of my being.

I recognized that the Lord continued to share His suffering heart with us, allowing us to participate in His own sorrow. In the midst of this process, we received the news that someone close to our family was going through a deep depression, undergoing treatment with psychiatric medication and lacking the strength to cope with daily life. I felt that the Lord was inviting me to offer myself with Him for her, to intercede and accompany her spiritually in her suffering.

That same day, my husband attended a parish community meeting and there he learned with sadness of the suicide of someone in our neighborhood.

In the midst of these events, I desired to unite myself fully to Him, being ONE in His sacrifice of love, embracing and offering every suffering in communion with His. I took refuge in the heart of the Virgin Mary, and I implored her to allow me to live in her maternal heart and belong completely to the Lord.

On the twenty-third day after the surgery, I continued to experience the groans of Jesus' heart. This inner experience led me to feel deeply the sorrow of the death of souls, a suffering that manifested itself in a deep groan of sorrow. I hurt for them, Lord! WE HURT FOR THEM!

We are no longer two, we are ONE in Your sacrifice of love.

The plea that springs from this sorrow is clear and fervent: that not one more single soul be lost, that all people may reach salvation. May his sacrifice and redeeming love be accepted by all.

The next day, as we prayed the rosary, I felt a deep sense of claustrophobia when I thought about the months I had left confined to the second floor of my house. This feeling of confinement immediately led me to meditate on Jesus, who remains locked up out of love in the tabernacles of the earth, waiting for the visit of His children. This reflection brought tears to my eyes, uniting me with His sorrow, His love, and His constant waiting.

A month and a half after the surgery, I had three days of inflammation in my left eyelid, which is why I had to go to the specialist clinic several times to rule out any problems with my optic nerve. In addition, my knee was still very swollen. These ailments led me to contemplate the swollen body of our Lord and to unite myself with His sufferings. In the midst of this inflammatory process, I began to feel a burning sensation in my back, which turned out to be a diagnosis of Herpes Zoster. My husband, while treating me, commented that the lesions looked like very pronounced whip marks. This image made me feel a greater union with the suffering of Jesus in His flagellation and inner martyrdom.

During this time, I also experienced hardness of heart from others. In the community cenacle, our beloved Father Ron spoke about this topic and said that loving the most difficult people requires a grace from the Lord. He spoke about the importance of this call to be victim souls, since the Lord is blessing us with His abundant graces, so that with our sufferings united to His and added to these graces, we may live our identity and collaborate with Him in the salvation of countless souls.

In the meditation on the second sorrowful mystery of the Holy Rosary, the Lord allowed me to see that all the hurtful words and hardness of heart that He allowed me to experience, He also received during the scourging. Contemplating this mystery led me to weep with the Lord, sharing His sorrow and His redeeming love.

A few days before reaching two months after the surgery, I had the grace to see more clearly the great misery of my heart: my sin and my real nothingness. This recognition is the result of the purifying fire of the Holy Spirit in my heart and the humility and surrender that the Virgin Mary taught me, for it was by her hand that I walked these paths of union with God, in the midst of suffering and recovery.

Two months after the surgery, our family received a very special and meaningful grace. My father had been wanting to go to confession for some time, but he was afraid, since he hadn't done so in many years. However, the Lord worked with great mercy and sent a priest to our home to offer us the sacrament of reconciliation. At first, my father found it difficult to take the step, but the priest, with great delicacy, love, and patience, accompanied him throughout the process. Everyone at home received the sacrament of reconciliation! How great and wonderful is the love of the Lord, which is manifested in these concrete gestures of closeness and grace! Thank you, Lord, for your priests!

Six months after the surgery, I can conclude that it was a period marked by illness and subsequent convalescence, but more than that, it was a time of enormous blessing that gave me the opportunity to deeply live my vocation as a victim soul, chosen by the Lord.

In the midst of physical weakness and the process of recovery, I realized how the hidden life of a mother or a missionary of the Cross is, in essence, a very active life in God, devoted and very fruitful even in its apparent stillness.

This intimate union with the Sacred Heart of Jesus and His interior martyrdom allowed me to share His sufferings and His redeeming love. During this time, I grew in union with God, learning from His suffering heart to love as He loves in His sacrifice of love.

I recognize that my life during this period, which lasted almost a year, has brought comfort to the heart of Jesus.

Finally, I would like to share this message from our spiritual mother Lourdes, which reflects what I experienced during this time.

The Hidden Life Is Not Inactivity But of Great Activity.

Date: February 6, 2013

I feel my Lord in my soul holding His chalice. His tears of sorrow for our brokenness fall into the chalice. He thirsts for my companionship. His gaze invites me to remain with Him and just be with Him. I remain next to Him, with Him, as He cries God’s tears of sorrow for each of us. I am not called to do, but just to be with Him, to accompany Him in His sorrows. Through the grace of God, my soul is living the hidden life. The world does not understand the hidden life. It is God who does, Who suffers, Who redeems, but I enter and live within the words of the Mass, “through Him, with Him and in Him.” This hidden life is not a state of inactivity but great activity. It’s a participation in the activity of God Himself. I am accompanying my Lord, Who suffers for all. This is peace, and the fruit of this peace is JOY!